For those of you who read Parker’s Points this month you know my list was focused on becoming more self-aware.  If your desire is to be happy at work then you need to know what makes you happy.  A good place to start is to ask yourself who or what is most important to you at work -#6 on the list.

There are probably lots of things that are important to you but there is one that is most important at this moment.  You will want to think about your answer.  If you are uncertain what it is, you could ask other people to observe you and notice what you value.  For example lots of people have noticed that Donald Trump really values winning.  He uses the word a lot in speaking and just observing his behavior you can see he likes to come out ahead of everyone else.

Many people besides President Trump value winning.  It may not be your most important value but there is nothing inherently wrong with the value.  Having a person who finds winning most important on your team is an asset.  The sign of a good leader is when he/she understands what is most important to him or her (what his/her values are) and also senses the values of others.

If on the other hand if Trump’s most important value conflicts with what your most important value then it may be uncomfortable for you to work with him.  If for example your most important value is peace, then working in an environment where winning is valued might not be as peaceful as you would like.

During my tenure at AT&T I had a Branch Manager who valued winning above anything else.  Since she was head of a sales organization she was eager to win all the sales she could in the geographical area her branch covered to reach her quota.  (Isn’t that what you would want in a Branch Manager?)

While I shared her desire to win business my top value has always been to teach.  To honor that value I used a strength that I had – persistence.  This meant that although I would eventually make a sale it was a slow process for me.  This branch manager always criticized me for being too patient.

Since this happened 20+ years ago I’ve had time to reflect on what happened.  At the time each of us was sure she was right.  I was in the “patience is a virtue” corner and she came from the “time is money” corner.  In fact we both were right but for a different set of clients.

Some clients would appreciate a quick closing of the sale.  They were ready to make a decision and wanted swift action once they decided in AT&T’s favor.  Other clients needed to learn more and understand better how my solution would fit into their business.  I was the person who could nurture that sale.

A good leader understands that it takes people with a variety of values, strengths and skills to make a good team.  That leader is also aware that in hiring it is important to hire a diverse group not just a clone of herself.

Good leaders understand themselves first.  This enables them to begin to understand others and realize the importance of having a variety of people on their team. They see that it is possible to have a team where everyone can honor their own values, use their own strengths to the fullest and reach the team goals. When people work well together like this, their work feels meaningful to them and they are happy at work.

Still not sure what is most important to you?  I’d be happy to help you.  As your coach I work with you on becoming more self aware and then learning how others see you.  Interested in learning more about coaching?  Call me at 781-598-0388 or email me at asparker@asparker.com.

Would you hire either or both for a job in your company?

For an employee to be happy at work he or she must possess the skills and behavioral style necessary to do the job.  There is a tendency among managers to either hire people like themselves to do the job or to hire someone who fits their mental model of the ideal candidate.  Either contributes to unconscious bias on the part of the manager.  Here is a list of some other hiring mistakes that professionals frequently make:

1. No job description – By writing down in detail the tasks that this employee will be required to do the hiring manager will be able to see clearly the qualifications (skills and behavioral style) a person will need to do this job.
2. Hiring someone without the necessary skills – It will be clear from the job description what skills are necessary for the job.  Testing the candidate to be sure that his or her skills are current is also important.  The testing might be in the form of a written test or it could be an interview with someone who knows and uses the skill or skills in his/her own work.
3. Hiring someone without having the person take a behavioral assessment – The DISC behavioral assessment* will help you see if this person will fit into the office and compliment the skills of the other people.  It will also help you to communicate with the person in a way that that person will hear.  Most managers tend to hire people like themselves when in fact they may need someone who can do some of the things that the manager doesn’t like or want to do.
4. Hiring someone whose behavioral style is wrong for the job – Some positions require people who are talkative and friendly and others require people who enjoy working by themselves.  Certain tasks require a detail-oriented person while others need someone who sees the big picture.  Knowing the behavioral style that is best for the particular position will help the manager find the right person.
5. Hiring friends and/or relatives – Often people hire friends or relatives to be kind or to do a favor for someone.  If the decision turns out to be a bad one, the situation can get really uncomfortable.  It is often difficult to give feedback to friends or relatives and they often resent being put in a position where they have to be grateful for the opportunity but are really angry with you for the criticism.
6. Not interviewing the candidate – To really get to know if you can work with someone you need to speak with him/her directly either face to face or by phone.  For your team to work well give those who will be working with the candidate a chance to interview the candidate and voice their opinion.
7. Not preparing for the interview– It is important to spend time preparing a set of probing questions for the candidates to help you to determine which candidate most closely fits your job description.
8. Not posting the job, advertising it in the paper and/or using a recruiter so that you get multiple candidates giving you a choice – Some are tempted to hire the first applicant.  If you advertise for candidates in multiple ways and use a recruiter too, you should have a variety of candidates to interview and select from.
9. Not screening the candidates so you interview everyone – Screening all the candidates could take a long time if you get a lot of interest in the open position.  Once you have a group of candidates it is easiest to have screening interviews to weed out those who are definitely inappropriate.  Often screening interviews are done by phone but also could be done in writing.
10. Not checking references and background. – It is tempting once you have settled on a candidate to hire him/her on the spot.  It is worth taking the time to check references and background to be sure that this candidate has honestly presented him/herself.

*Learn about the Behavioral Assessment

Have you ever taken the DISC behavioral assessment?  If you are hiring people it is a really important tool for hiring the right person.  If you have taken the DISC yourself you will be able to tell which candidates you will have difficulty managing from a behavioral perspective.  Through the one hour coaching that comes with the assessment you will learn how to manage the person you are hiring.  Wouldn’t it be great to know you could hire the right person for the job and be able to manage him/her because you are prepared based on your behavioral assessment and the candidate’s.  During the coaching session you will become familiar with the terminology as well as gain an understanding of your own behavioral profile.  Taking the assessment is an important investment for managers and employees.  Managers will learn how to talk to their employees based on the style they exhibit and employees will be prepared to show how their style is exactly right for the job they interview for.

While everyone’s criteria for what makes them happy at work may be different, there are a few ideas that come up for most every client I have had.  Take a look at these ten and see if they resonate with you.  What others would you add?

1. You are using your strengths. If you are enjoying your work, you are usually doing something you are good at.  To get the respect and admiration most people want and need, they need to have the ability to excel at the job.  By using your strengths, you can attain mastery of your work.
2. You are honoring your values. Values are those ideals that are most important to you.  What are you striving for?  Is it respect, learning, love, accomplishment, challenge, security?  How are you using your values to guide you in your decision making?  Are your values in conflict with the work you do or the organization you do it with?
3. You are in a supportive environment. A supportive environment lets you do your best work.  It means that at times you are left alone to be creative and to find your own solutions and at other times you are offered the help you need to get the work done.
4. You and your manager have a good working relationship. Your manager supports you without micromanaging you.  You are not punished for honest failures.
5. You are a member of a team that works well together. You are all focused on a clear objective set by you, your manager and your team.  Everyone does their job well.  No one is slacking off.
6. There is a challenge to the work you do. You are using your strengths but at the same time some of what you must do is new to you.  You are learning a lot and gaining new expertise.
7. Your work is meaningful. You see how your contribution serves a higher purpose and that aligns with your own life purpose.
8. You can maintain the life style that is important to you. You can spend time with people who are important to you. You can work on projects that are important to you.  You can be the kind of person you want to be.
9. The work aligns with your vision of your work and life. You see clearly where you are headed and know the direction is right for now.
10. You have fun at your work. You may be serious about the work and focus on it most of the time but there is some welcome relief with your manager and teammates that is fun. You look forward to coming to work each day.

How does your current job match with these criteria?  I doubt if many jobs meet all 10 criteria.  If yours does, congratulations!!  If your job doesn’t match up to many of these and you are not happy at work, a coach can help.   Remember that you can’t change anyone else, you can only change yourself.  Sometimes changing your behavior will change the way others behave.  I work with clients who are motivated to make changes in themselves and in their work relationships so they can be happy at work.  If you want to work with me on this, please call me at 781-598-0388 or email me at asparker@asparker.com

When I started my sales career over 25 years ago, I worked for a small company selling telephone answering equipment.  Hard to believe it but in those days I had to explain to prospects what the equipment was for and why they might want to use it.

The company I worked for got business in several different ways.   First each of the 4 sales people handled incoming calls and also made calls to people he/she thought could use the equipment.  The company advertised so sometimes people called in to inquire about the products we offered.  Finally the manufacturers of the equipment sent the company names of people (leads) who called the manufacturer because they were interested in the equipment.

No one particularly liked making cold calls so if we could get an incoming call we took it hoping it was a potential customer.  Cold calling was part of the job however so I learned to do it in a way that made it a game.  One of the other sales people really hated making the calls so he very rarely made any.

Instead of calling this fellow would complain to whoever was available that the company didn’t provide good leads, that the company should advertise more so people would know what the equipment was, and that the company should move its location to a high traffic mall so we would get walk in traffic.  (We were located in a building that housed the mattress factory of the parents of the owner!)

Needless to say the fellow was not happy at work and he didn’t make many sales. It always struck me that he truly believed the problem was with the company not with himself.

Jack Canfield in his book The Success Principles says, “If you want to be successful, you have to take 100% responsibility for everything that you experience in your life. This includes the level of your achievements, the results you produce, the quality of your relationships, the state of your health and physical fitness, your income, your debts, your feelings—everything!”

The fellow may have been right about the company and its support (or lack of support) of sales but he couldn’t change that.  It didn’t help any of us that he continually complained about the leads, location, and lack of advertising.  He needed to take responsibility for his own sales process and begin to think about possibilities not problems.

Instead the focus on the problems put him in a negative mood so that he was somewhat snide when he talked to potential customers and therefore they rarely bought from him.  His negative mood made him totally unattractive to the rest of us.  I knew that I couldn’t talk with him too often or I would also get caught up in his negativity.

My colleague’s way of speaking is what Ben Zander and Rosamund Stone Zander call “downward spiral talk”.  They say in the book The Art of Possibility, “Focusing on the abstraction of scarcity, downward spiral talk creates an unassailable story about the limits to what is possible and tells us compellingly how things are going from bad to worse.”

Obviously, it would be good to stop that kind of talk—if you can.  This can be difficult especially if you are paid to find the problems with something.  Lawyers look for holes in the other person’s case, engineers look for problems to solve, and accountants often look for ways the numbers don’t work.

There is energy in finding what is wrong with something.  The key is to use that energy even if the use is to write a report or argue a case.  My colleague needed to take the energy of his negativity and use that energy to find innovative ways to make the job interesting.  That is what I had done when I made a game of it.  Getting stuck in the negativity makes you a victim of circumstances rather than being 100% responsible for your own results.

Take Action:

1. Where are you being negative?  Are you aware of a downward spiral talk in your work?  How can you use the energy of the talk in a different way?
2. Read The Art of Possibility by Rosamund Stone Zander and Benjamin Zander.  You can find this book on Amazon http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/ASIN/0875847706/parkerassociates/103-1038774-0496630
3. Julie Norem’s The Positive Power of Negative Thinking: Using Defensive Pessimism to Harness Anxiety and Perform at Your Peak will give you another perspective on negative thinking. You can find this book on Amazon.  http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/ASIN/B009IU4VHQ/parkerassociates/103-1038774-0496630
4. David Caruso and Peter Solovay in their book The Emotionally Intelligent Manager http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/ASIN/0787970719/parkerassociates/103-1038774-0496630  give these four key emotional skills:

•        Identifying Emotion:Emotions contain critical information and data.
•        Using Emotion: Different emotions help our thinking in different ways.
•        Understanding Emotion: Emotions follow a logical pattern, if you know how to look at them.
•        Managing Emotion: You cannot be effective without the wisdom of emotions.

How might these skills help you with downward spiral talk?

Want to find meaningful work?

Are you stuck in a job where everything you are called on to do seem wrong and unproductive? Any ideas you have offered in the past have been turned down and management still wants you to do things their way.  Is it time for you to make a change?  It can really feel good when you let go of a job that is making you feel very negative and even depressed.   If you are stuck in a job that doesn’t make you feel happy and successful, I can help you find what kind of work would be more fulfilling for you.  To schedule a time for us to talk, please call me at 781-598-0388 or email me at asparker@asparker.com.

Many of my business clients tell me that what they missed most when they started their businesses was the camaraderie of an office setting.  Small businesses often start with just the owner alone in the office. If you are working by yourself even if your work is satisfying you still may not be happy at work.  How do you create a team that helps you to increase business and to feel less isolated? Create a team that comes from other businesses and clients that you work with.  To combat this sense of isolation here are some suggestions that allow you to feel the connection and will also increase your chances for more business.

1. Strategic partnerships work well for marketing your product or service. An added benefit is that you work with someone you respect.  Consider collaborating on a project or product with a partner and hold face to face meetings.
2. Another marketing strategy is to join networking organizations. They can help you to get referrals, but they also are another way to feel the connection to others. If you are missing the closer type relationships that an office provides, develop on-going relationships with some of the people with whom you network.
3. Sometimes all that is needed is to be with people not necessarily interacting with them. A coffee shop might fit the bill occasionally.  Take your reading material or computer with you so you can work.
4. Have lunch with a friend or colleague. You need to eat anyway.  Just being with a friend in a relaxed setting can energize you and make you less lonely.  If you have an issue to discuss with a colleague, suggest lunch instead of a long telephone conversation.  You’ll both enjoy it more and if you stick to an agenda you’ll accomplish your task too.
5. What kind of group would help you and your business the most? It could be a leads group, an R&D team or an advisory board.  All give you opportunities to connect. Create a group that serves your business and keeps you engaged and connected.
6. Enjoy a concert or sports activity with a client or customer you like. It is a way to pleasantly stay connected with people you find interesting.
7. Exercise is important to your physical well-being. Find a walking or exercise buddy and take a needed break during the day.  Even just a half hour walk with a friend will brighten your spirits and recharge you.
8. Become involved in recreational activities in your area. Bring business cards to your book club, your child’s Little League Game or a Golf Tournament.  Meet potential customers, relax and keep connected.
9. Develop an ongoing relationship with a mentor or coach. Talk to or meet with your coach or mentor weekly.
10. Take a course at a local college or training center. The course or training could be work related or just something of interest. Either way you will be with other people.

To meet the challenges of working alone it is helpful to have a coach.  If you would like to have someone available to bounce ideas off of and to support you in your career, I’d be happy to work with you.  To set up an appointment and to discuss the possibilities, please email me at asparker@asparker.com.

In my practice I help people to find the spark within themselves that energizes them and helps them to find a way to make their work more exciting and fun.  For some people identifying the spark is simple but for others it is not that obvious, and it takes work.

To begin the journey of finding the spark I suggest you ask yourself these 12 questions and write down your answers.  Find a quiet place where you can relax and focus on yourself.  Take time to breath deeply.  You will need to access your intuition and the best way to do that is to be relaxed.  Be open a to whatever comes up for you.

Be patient with yourself.  If nothing comes up for you with one question, go on to the next.  When you are done answering as many questions as you can, look over your answers to see if you see something you have never noticed before.  Stay with the answers for a few minutes and see what your intuition tells you.

1. What are your Values? What is most important to you in life?  Make a list or use the assessment you received when you signed up for this newsletter.  Not an email newsletter subscriber? Go to my blog page  and scroll down to the list of articles.  You’ll see a sign up form on the right side of the page.   Subscribers, contact me at asparker@asparker.com if you would like another copy of the assessment.
2. What have you done that is easy for you and doesn’t feel like work? Others compliment you on it and you feel good when you are doing it.
3. What skill or talent do you have that is fun for you? You enjoy using it and work hard to perfect it because you love using it.
4. What change in the world do you see that is needed that you get emotional about? This change is important to you and you get angry that others are not attending to it.  You feel good when you are working in support of the change you want to make.
5. What is it that you have been enjoying all your life and want to continue doing? Looking back to when you were a child what games did you play that you still want to play now.  Perhaps you have found a more adult way to play the game.
6. What gives you energy each time you do it. You get excited when you are doing it.  You never get tired of it and you use the energy it gives you to continue doing it?
7. What do you dream about doing that you haven’t shared with anyone? You can actually see yourself doing it but it seems so far out that you have never told anyone about it.
8. What person, cause or project is worth fighting for? The cause or project gets you so worked up that you are willing to stick your neck out to get it done. It is a risk, but someone has to take it.  Why not you?
9. What hobby do you have that you want to continue doing because you enjoy it so much? The hobby may give you a clue as to the type of things you enjoy doing. Some hobbies do turn into businesses, but most do not.
10. What were you doing the last time you lost track of time? When you lose track of time you are usually lost in the work and enjoying the journey.  I’m not talking about a time when you were working to meet a deadline and time flies.  Maybe it was when you were on line and researching something.  Was it the research or the topic that captured you?
11. What would you be doing on a perfect work day? Set aside time to write down exactly what you would be doing all day. Explore what makes this the perfect day.
12. What inspires you? What gets you jazzed so that you can’t stand still?  Maybe it is a person?  What is it about that person that is inspiring?

Answering these may help you find the spark.  Keep in mind that you have a set of clues.  Your spark may come from something represented by your answers and not exactly what your answers are.

Finding your spark is not precise analytical work.  It can take intuition as well as trial and error.  A coach can help you to find your spark by asking you more questions and reviewing your answers with you.  A coach can often see what you are missing.  I’d love to be your coach for the journey.  Are you up for the challenge?  If so email me at asparker@asparker.com to schedule a no obligation free call.  We’ll determine together if having a coach will help you find your spark.

Money is not the only criteria for a job where you will be happy.  There are others. See how many of these your current job fulfills or if you are considering a new job use this as a checklist to determine if the job you are considering is right for you.

1. Are you earning the kind of money you feel you deserve? First you must be earning enough to support you and your dependents.  Until you do that your concern is really about survival.  After that you want to get enough to feel adequately rewarded for the work you do.
2. Do you feel you have job security? There is nothing worse than the feeling that your job is in jeopardy.  You’ll never feel happy at work unless you feel you are wanted and needed.  More than that, the company must be able to afford to keep you, so the business has to be profitable and growing.
3. Do you have the kind of work environment that makes you feel good? Do you trust the other members of your team, your manager and the others in the company?  Does the company do what it promises? To be happy at work you must look forward to coming to work a high percentage of the time.
4. Do you have a title or reputation that you feel gives you significant status in the organization? To feel happy at work you need to be respected by your organization.  The organization shows that respect by giving you a title commensurate with your experience.
5. Do you have enough flexibility in your hours to feel comfortable? You won’t be happy at work if you have conflicting priorities.  You need to be comfortable that when an emergency comes up you will be able to attend to it during work hours if necessary.
6. Is your work meaningful? Is the work you do important to you. Does it make the world a better place in some way?  To be happy at work you need to take pride in the work you do and see how it serves the greater good.
7. Do you have the opportunity for recognition and achievement? While it is most important to feel you are making a contribution yourself, it is nice to be recognized by your peers and management for your achievement.  Most people want to hear “good job” from the boss!
8. Are you given the kind of responsibility that you want? If you feel you are underutilized or the job no longer offers you a challenge then you will not be happy at work.
9. Do you have an opportunity to learn more about yourself so you grow as a person? In every job you have you want to be able to learn more about what is important to you, what qualities you need to grow and what habits may be holding you back. Does the company give you continual feedback and then help you to make the necessary changes?
10. Do you have the opportunity to learn on the job? Whether it is a stretch goal that requires you to learn a new skill or a new opportunity that has come up you know little about, it is important to keep adding to your knowledge and skill base.

Is there something important to you that I have left out?  I’d love to hear from you.

Coaching Works!
Sometimes a small adjustment in your working situation can make a big difference in the way that you feel about your job.  A coach can help you to make that adjustment.  It may be all that you need.  For others the adjustment may make the work more tolerable but they are looking for a long term career or job change and would like to find work that has meaning and that they love.  As a coach I am eager to work with anyone who wants to either adjust or change their situation.  I am finding in my practice that as people mature they are looking for a career that makes their heart sing.  Has that happened to you?  Now is the perfect time to begin to look for that career.  The search could take a few months or several years.  Let’s begin!  Call me at 617-240-5353 to make an appointment or email me at asparker@asparker.com to schedule a meeting. I work on the telephone so your location makes no difference as long as we can connect by phone.

Transitions are times when growth occurs.  They are usually uncomfortable. Most people feel most vulnerable during the transition.  It is as if we lose our balance and one slight push can topple us.

A recent client told me the company she was working for got sold and the new company made changes to the old company’s departments. The boss who hired her for her finance position was fired and replaced with someone new.

The new boss was clearly over his head.  He didn’t seem to know much about finance.  She offered to help him, but he refused her help.  Because she was watching the financial reports, she could see the company was in a downward spiral.  She tried to warn her boss, but he didn’t listen and told her if she thought that the company was failing, she should just leave.  He even added that he was surprised she hadn’t left yet because there was no future for her in that company.  In fact he said she was not leader material. It took her some time to act on this feedback, but she finally resigned.

The experience did a job on her confidence.  She kept wondering if in fact her former boss was right and that she was not the leader she had aspired to be.  She wondered if she was in the right field and was even considering changing careers when she came to me.

We spent some time talking about her experience with her boss.  What really struck her when she looked back at the situation was how ill prepared her boss had been for his job both as a manager and a finance professional.  In the end she realized he was jealous of her experience and took his frustration and stress out on her.

Before we had a chance to discuss different careers, she got a call from a vendor she knew from her old job.  The vendor told her about a job she had just heard about and that she had given the hiring manager my client’s name and told him that my client would be perfect for the job.  My client followed up immediately and they set up an appointment for an interview.

My client told me she and the interviewer got along very well and that during the interview he said to her; “You certainly are passionate about finance.”  She was surprised by the comment but when she thought about it, she realized he was right.

So much for looking for a new career!  She had the one she wanted, and she knew that working in finance was what she wanted to do.  Several days later she heard from the interviewer that they would be making her a job offer.

This transition was painful for my client and her confidence was really bruised but she took the time to learn from the situation.   If she accepts their offer, she will be making another transition.  With an enthusiasm for the new job and for finance, she should be able to sail through that transition without losing her balance.

It is surprising to me how many bosses give their direct reports dire predictions about themselves and their career prospects.  It can be very debilitating for the employee.  If this happened to you or has happened to you in the past and you haven’t come to terms with it, a coach can help.  I’d love to be your coach.  Call me at 617-240-5353 or email me at asparker@asparker.com

Several years ago, a NY Times article focused on a group of women in their 90s that play bridge with each other regularly.  Researchers believe there are a couple of components to longevity- social interaction and using the mind. The game of bridge uses both.

You can get a similar boost to your longevity by managing your career well. You will want to make sure to have lots of social interactions with supportive people (networking) and you also will want to challenge your mind in a way that helps you to grow intellectually in your chosen profession or occupation.  Meaningful work is work that enables you to grow both intellectually and inter-personally.  Here are 10 Tips that will put you on the road to a long life and grow your career at the same time! Using these tips will help you to be happy at work and to live longer!

1. Read current periodicals in your profession or occupation. To stay current in your profession or occupation read the journals, newsletters and magazines that are thought to be important in your profession or occupation.  You may not have time to read the periodical from cover to cover but you can scan the table of contents to pick the one or two articles that are most pertinent to you.
2. Know the hot topics in your profession or occupation.  Use Google Alerts to bring you information daily on those topics. What are the buzz words that everyone is using?  Start to form your own opinion about the trends you see in the industry.
3. Read books related to your field. Identify the thought leaders in your particular field and read the books that they write.  If you see a new trend on the horizon explore it and read books related to it.  Think about how it impacts you and your career.
4. Read books and periodicals in other areas too.  Look for ways to integrate your field to another area and read up on that area too.  Try to develop a unique perspective or expertise so that you can distinguish yourself from others in your field.
5. Write articles and/or speak at meetings. Speak and write about current topics in your field where you have developed an expertise.  Get known by others in your field and related fields. Become known as a thought leader.
6. Use social networks to let people know about you and your work. Write articles for your blog. Comment on someone else’s blog.  Answer questions that others ask online. Share your expertise with others online through a newsletter, blog or postings to Twitter, Facebook or LinkedIn.
7. Don’t stay behind the computer or books and magazines.  Get out and socialize!  Join business groups, mentoring circles, and professional associations to meet people with common interests.  Go to or invite others to a Tweetup.  (Gathering of 2 or more people who know each other through Twitter)
8. Start a group of your own. Start a business book club where you read the latest business books and get together to discuss them.  Are there several people in your networking sphere that have something in common?  Working mothers perhaps who want to share time management ideas for example.  Socializing for business purposes should be fun and useful!
9. If groups are hard for you, have coffee with a colleague instead. Try meeting someone new every week at work.  If you work in a small office where you know everyone, find a new person in your building or in another office that does work you are curious about.  Expand your network with both mental and social growth in mind.  Spend time with people from whom you can learn and grow.
10. Pay it forward. Be open to helping others.  When you begin to build relationships with others, start by helping the people get what they want.  To do this you could introduce them to someone they are interested in meeting, you could provide them with information they ask about, or you could refer a potential client or referrer to them.  It is said that you have to give to get so begin by giving.

If you find yourself letting your career slide and you want to take back active control,  a coach can really help you move forward.  As you read through these tips if there are one or two you want to get started with but need some help moving forward, I would love to be that coach.  Call or email me at 781-598-0388 or asparker@asparker.com to set up an appointment to discuss how we might work together.  There is no obligation and no pressure with the call.  I only want to work with people who have a sincere desire to learn and grow.  Is that you?

The end of the year can be a hectic time.  You may be getting ready for the holidays, buying gifts or trying to reach the goals you had set for 2019.  I hope that once you have completed all that you need to or once there is no more time left, you will take some time to feel good about what you have achieved, what you learned and who you have become in 2019.

There is nothing more important than acknowledging yourself even if when you compare it to what others do it seems insignificant.  Stop comparing!  For example: I exercised twice a week almost every week in 2019.  Now I know there are others who do much more than that but for a sedentary person like me getting into motion twice a week is huge. 

What mistakes did you make in 2019 that taught you an important lesson?  I rarely clean my newsletter list.  Just recently my list serv vendor sent me a note suggesting I regularly delete subscribers who haven’t opened my email in a year.  It certainly isn’t something I do.  This month I did it for the first time in about 5 years.  Now I see that it improves my open rates and gives me incentive to actively build my list. In 6 months I plan to do it again and every 6 months after that.

What risks did you take this year that you are proud of?  For me it was taking my mother to Florida.  I knew the trip would be hard for both of us.  Since she got sick on the plane last year, I was doubly nervous.  I took the risk after careful thought about the risk and now that we are here, I am happy we did it.  She goes out for a walk every day and seems to have settled in quite well.  What about you?  Did you take a risk in your work or personal life?

What are you grateful for that happened this year? I added many more clients to my practice this year but more importantly the clients I added were perfect for my practice.  I love working with people who are focused and eager to get what they want.  When they get stuck, they are curious about why they are stuck and grateful to me when I ask them questions that help them to see a path they can take.  Most importantly they take the path and own the results.

It is rare these days for people to take the time to reflect and feel good about acknowledging themselves.  I have trouble with doing it myself.  Writing this article has been helpful for me.  Perhaps writing it down will work for you too.  The important thing is to block out some time to just sit and think about the past year.  Look at your successes big and small (They are all big!). Bask in the glory of those successes. Feel the glow.  It is important! It will give you the energy you need for 2020.  Happy New Year!

Coaching opportunity

Get the year off to a great start with the guidance of a coach.  Put the past year into perspective and set your intentions for the year ahead.  Email me to set up a no cost no obligation call to see if it would be worthwhile for us to work together.